February 2012
age 15: i want a boyfriend
age 20: i rly want a boyfriend ok
age 30: no srsly i need a boyfriend guys im not kidding
age 40: pls im desperate
age 50: guys this isnt funny anymore cmon
age 60: its not funny guys
age 70: guys
This is no joke, it really happened in my first...
My EMR instructor: You arrive at a scene with a patient laying on the ground. You check their level of alertness and they appear unconscious. You have already opened their airway with an adjunct and are administering oxygen.
What do you do next?
Student: Call 911!
My EMR Instructor: YOU ARE 911.
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so I wonder what it's like for their kids
Daughter: But Mom I'm too lazy to clean my r-
Katniss: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE
Katniss: I HAD TO KILL CHILDREN
Katniss: SO I THINK THAT YOU CAN
Daughter: Mom you always pull this speech on-
Katniss: CLEAN YOUR GODDAMN ROOM
Peeta: ALSO
Peeta: YOUR MOM DID IT ALL FOR THE GAMES
Peeta: SOMETIMES I WANT TO CHOKE HER OUT OF NOWHERE
Daughter: Dad why are you even-
Peeta: MY LEG IS GONEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Omg and then he just came in to my room asking to use my phone and I didn’t have pants on omg this is why I don’t have friends.
So I punched a man in the face tonight. It was almost accidental so I apologised for a good 20 mins after.
Cactus Butt
bobies:
sometimes i forget im not lying anymore when i click “yes i am over 18”
My floor at the hostel just literally sat down for at least half an hour to discuss day drinking plans for tomorrow. I believe a funnel will be involved.
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